Year 1980 - The year Superstar's movie Johnny released
I was a silent admirer, an ardent fan, a devoted follower, a sincere lover, just not settled yet. She was still in college, or I thought so. I followed her everyday, everywhere. I knew that she had noticed me a few days. But most days she didn't even know I was following her. This continued for months and months. Then one fine day... August 14th, 1980, she stopped walking. She turned around and looked at me. I stood still. Luckily I did not turn around and run! Her sight was stern, but I was able to notice a level of familiarity. She didn't look at me as a rogue or a stranger. She had more questions than concerns in her eyes. I walked towards her. There was no way I was going to stop and talk to her. But I just kept walking towards her as though I was just a stranger. As I was about to cross her, she stopped me... "Hello," she stopped me and said... "Nalaiku thalaivar padam release aagudhu, rendu ticket erpadu pannunga, namma polam." She said that and just kept walking... I did not know what to make of it... but, the message couldn't be clearer than this. She wanted two tickets to the movie. It could be for her and her close friend, or with me. Why would she come to a movie with me? Aah, but, if she wasn't going with me, why would she ask me to get her tickets? Maybe she thought I could... but I have no idea how to get tickets to a first day first show of a Thalaivar movie!! What do I do now? I have never been so tensed in my life. I go and meet my friend (maybe acquaintance) to whom I have never asked for a favor. I plead with him to somehow get me two tickets for the Rajini movie the next day. He laughs me off... he says even the area councilor cannot get it this late! I did not know what to do. She has never looked at me, she has never uttered a word to me, she has never wished for anything from me, she spoke to me once and only once, and all she she asked was for two tickets. I was going to get it anyway. So I went to the infamous movie theatre where all Rajini movies released. There was no queue at the ticket counter. I was surprised and shocked at the same time. But with courage, I went to the counter and asked for two tickets. The guy at the counter laughed so loud that few others around gathered to enjoy the fun of embarrassing me. Finally they saw the genuine look in my eyes and calmly sent me away stating that there are no tickets for the next 3 days. I understood at that moment, how naive I was. I did not sleep that night, could not sleep, kept beating myself up about how I was so incompetent that I could not do something about the one and only thing she asked me for...
August 15th, 1980 - The city erupted with joyous celebrations of their favorite star's movie. I went to my usual waiting spot ahead of time with shame and guilt. I hid myself this time and had to trace her route without a trace of me following her... For the first time ever I wished she did not show up, but she did show up... I slowly emerged from hiding. She waited for me to get closer. With a lot of hesitation and a sense of inability I walked towards her and in a very faint voice said that I couldn't get the tickets she wished for. Without uttering a word, she pressed two tickets in my hands and said, "Be there at 6 PM sharp," and walked away. I was speechless, did not know how to react, but I did realize that she had somehow made the movie 'together' happen, which I couldn't. So with no shame, I showed up 1 hr early to the movie theatre, figured out all entry, exit routes, cafeteria for snacks, the restroom area for ladies, the safest exit after the movie is over, anything and everything that could go wrong. She came at 6:07. She looked into my eyes and said with so much love, happiness, and confidence, "Let's go, come on." We went in... the movie happened... so did WE. She was all focused on Rajinikanth all through the movie, bragging how her Thalaivar was smart, rugged, and strong. I felt offended, or rather very insecure, on how much she adored Rajinikanth. But then somewhere during the course of the movie, she held my hands and asked me... "Enkitta vandhu pesa mudiyadha unnala? Nan vandhu unna koopidanuma?" I had no response, just spellbound. I don't remember what I blabbered back to her. I was lost... lost in serenity in her arms. I don't recall when the movie got over, when and how we departed, and reached home. I was home in my bed, rewinding what happened at the movie theatre. Stuck between disbelief and an overwhelming sense of joy, I kept replaying the moment she held me with absolute confidence that I'm her man, even when Rajinikanth was performing on screen, and with all rights questioned me on why I hesitated reaching out to her. I finally (maybe) did understand a bit about how a girl makes up her mind, but why a boy still lives in doubt. The girl makes up her mind once, but this boy (me) always loved and stayed in fear. Fear of gaining her hate. For him, being nice to her was far more important than being with her. The silent, secret stalking was more certain than a very uncertain YES from her. Now that he got all the confirmation he needed, he was almost ready to be there for her. But then he jolted and woke up from his dream... he was alone, in a cold basement, in the middle of the night with no sense of where he was, his age, location, or time. All he knew was that he is desolate and still missing her. He is trying to find if he had a dream or if he had travelled back in time to see something that never happened. He wished the Johnny movie incident had indeed happened. It wasn't all a dream. After all, he had followed her so long... I'm very confused now. How much of what happened to me is true? Did I go to that movie... with her? Or was I imagining all this as part of an extended wish list? If only I could travel back in time and confirm, if only I can redo the movie again with her... I have to get her that Vanilla Cone Ice Cream I know she loves. I know she loved it, but I did not have the money to get her. Maybe she knew that already. That's why she got the tickets... but if she got the tickets, isn't it fair he gets her at least the ice cream? Tere Ishq me fanaa ho gaya, abhi kuch theek se yaad nahi hai. Time travel karna padega... or just relive it again. Whichever happens first!
